The other side of AGING WELL in Shanghai
The other side of AGING WELL
It’s a basic fact of life: we live day by day, week by week; they become years. Then, suddenly we are “older”. It’s the price of success! Those who listen to the “wellness doctor” and practice good prevention are even more successful. In the continuum between birth and death, it’s the piece in the middle that makes it interesting….youth, family, work, retirement, and old age.
The resources we are given in that quest are our bodies and our spirit. What we do with these resources, both individually and in our relationships, impact on how we grow, how we age, and how well we remain. The negatives we want to avoid include illness, loneliness, and disability. The positives we want to achieve are wellness, happiness, and vigor.
In his book, Aging Well, George Vaillant points out that it is during the two extremes of life that we need caring; the part in the middle is when we provide caring. As infants and children, we depend on our parents for growth, sustenance, and learning. Near the end of our life, many will need nurturing and assistance. It’s in the mid-portion of our lifespan that focuses on vitality. Each phase we enter is a new opportunity for growth and development.
Dr. Vaillant reinforces the idea that health, happiness, and success in life are not independent. In fact, they are strongly inter-related. Each depends to a large extent on what we are given, perhaps by heredity and inheritance, but our individual lifestyle choices play a much greater role. In many ways, we are both our own best friend and our own worst enemy.
Consider some practical things that we can do to age well. How do we grow older in a healthy and happy way so that we look back on our lives with pleasure and not with regret or sadness? The answer lies in both the physical and spiritual or non-physical aspects of how we live.
Based on long-term population studies spanning almost 80 years, Dr. Vaillant concludes that social relationships– including marriage or stable partnerships– friendships, and personal giving to others, are most important in determining how people age. In addition to getting positive benefit out of work, as opposed to stress, he talks about how “play” and “re-creation” help to rejuvenate. Creative activities and lifelong learning are part of this formula for success. Giving to others helps too– not just in a financial way but more importantly in deeply personal ways. This includes passing on to the next generation what we learn and what we know.
o On the physical side, the wellness movement has done a good job at reinforcing how important it is to avoid smoking, to exercise, to eat well, and to avoid being overweight. The diabetes epidemic is well known, as are the effects of environmental pollution and too much fat and sugar in our diets. Know your risks, and your doctor. Maintain wellness through regular cancer screenings, proper exercise and nutrition, and overall mental well-being.
Being in Asia, we have all heard the story of “balance” many times. The idea is to avoid extremes and to maintain a life path that keeps perspective. In addition to the actual health decisions discussed above, the focus on happiness and contentment is the one thing to consider above all others. A simple formula is worth considering:
o Be smart: Do things that make sense for your health and don’t do things that you know will cause you physical or emotional harm.
o Be good and be honest: Do what’s right and don’t deceive yourself into thinking that “this one time won’t matter”. It all comes full circle eventually.
o Be kind and giving: A long time ago Confucius made it clear that the wealthiest person is the one who gives to others. Appreciate your families and your good friends; respect your elders and treasure your children. Realize the good things you have and share with others, especially those less fortunate.
At the end of life, all religions of the world agree that there is some kind of reckoning. Whether we call it heaven, nirvana, dharma, or redemption, the end of our life is the final chapter of a book that we each write each day, each moment. Even if you are not religious, your legacy is remembered and carried on by the lives you touch and the impressions you leave behind. Let’s make yours a good one and each step of the way a step in the right direction.
